Be Kind To Yourself

Happy Friday everyone!
I just watched a video from one of my favorite YouTubers, and they gave me an idea. Their video talked about how the way we speak to ourselves isn't healthy at times, and that should seriously change! I don't believe I've talked on this particular subject matter, so let's talk about this.

*Just a disclaimer,  I am not in any way saying that my word is law, I am just giving advice that I have learned and heard that works for myself.  It might work for you, it might not. In any case, use what works for you to stay positive and healthy.*

The first thing to do is STOP comparing yourself with others; I can not stress this enough. If you wish to be at a particular level or state and you see others that are doing better than you at that, do not for any reason compare yourself to them. For one you are two different people, and for two you are going your own pace. Everyone starts as a beginner, maybe that person has resources that you do not or has been doing that particular thing for years. If they started before you or they have better resources, then that is fine because everyone works at their pace and uses what they can. I still do this with blogging, I'll look at other bloggers and get blown away, because they have so many followers. I start thinking maybe there is something wrong with what I'm doing, maybe I am inadequate at what I'm doing; maybe since there are others that are doing much better than I that I should just quit.
When these thoughts usually happen there is a panic attack right around the corner, but I stop those thoughts in their tracks by distracting myself (which I have a blog post on Stress Relievers). I distract those spiraling, panic attack inducing thoughts by doing something I enjoy, and later after I am not stressing I come back to the beginning question. At that point I can calmly see the problem and fix it, if there is something to fix.

The second thing is to talk to yourself kindly, like you would a friend. Honestly would you be rude to a friend and tell them that crying over a particular problem is stupid, would you tell them that their pain is invalid? I hope not, so why would you down yourself for feeling a particular way about something? Your feeling are valid, your experiences are valid, you are a valid human being. If you feel something don't discount your own feelings, they matter. You wouldn't tell a friend that they can't do something or that they are stupid if they don't understand something. If you don't talk to your friends in that manner, then why in the fluff  would you speak to yourself in such a manner. Stop telling yourself you can't do something, you can. Stop telling yourself that crying over something is stupid, it isn't. The way you feel and think is very valid and important, do not discount yourself.

The third thing is to be your own therapist. I don't mean in the literal sense; please do not skip those visits, therapy really helps. I mean to ask yourself questions to get to the possible deeper meaning as to why you might cry over macaroni and cheese. If you are crying calm down first then access the internal feelings you have going on, ask yourself how you feel. Do you feel depressed? Are you feeling angry? Once you figure out what your feeling, then you have to ask even deeper questions. Why do you feel depressed? Is there a reason you feel angry? Asking yourself questions helps you sort out what is the core reason as to why you're feeling the way that you are feeling. It helps unclutter the mind for a more emotionally stable you, a healthier you.

The YouTube channel I watched is called Stuff Mom Never Told You, and they are a blessing! They do informative videos on loads of topics such as sexuality, race, misogyny, and much much more. I totally recommend you guys watching a few of their videos, it is worth it!


Thanks for reading!
I'll see you guys Monday!